In Part 1 of this series, we addressed when talented professional consider collaborating with a coach and the value of having built-in accountability and a supportive community.
In this segment, we continue the conversation and cover the remaining benefits of career coaching, as well as the most popular reasons why typically professionals don’t pursue coaching, despite the benefits to their careers and personal well-being.
Addressing Limiting Beliefs and The Blind Spots
When you sit down with a coach and outline your goals, a great coach would be listening on multiple levels. One of the things that we listen for as trained and certified coaches is limiting beliefs and your mindset regarding the outcomes you desire.
For example, if my desire is that I want to write a new book and I am working with a coach who's going to help me, my coach would be listening for the words that I use to describe this goal. My coach would point out when she hears me say, "Oh, I know people who do it, but who am I to write a book? What am I going to say? Is it that important? Ultimately, your coach would help you adopt an empowering mindset and beliefs that align and support your goals.
In other words, once we dissect the limiting beliefs that surface, put them on the table, we dig in to get to the root cause—using advance coaching techniques, such as the “IFS” or the Internal Family System work based on 30-years of research by Richard Schwartz. And that's how I'm able to support my clients to shift into empowering beliefs and create new habits and practices that will help them accelerate attaining their goals, which is nearly impossible to achieve alone without this level of expertise.
Once you transcend the fixed mindset and limiting beliefs, it enables you to align your beliefs, thoughts, words, and actions with the goals you are pursuing, and that's when you skyrocket and experience the results.
For example, you take off because you know that what you have to share is meaningful and that the message you have to give to the people in the world is meaningful from your perspective. You're not comparing yourself to anyone else; you are competing with yourself.
My coaches have given me the information, tools, and strategies that I needed to grow my business authentically, write my book, and believe it or not, expand, and shift my mindset around romantic relationships. And all these transformations have not only provided financial and physical certainty to manage my life, but also unmeasurable joy and peace of mind.
Addressing The Excuses
Even when you are crystal clear on your goals and challenges, which is not always the case, it is common for people not to pursue getting the support they need. These are some of the most popular excuses most of us give. Notice which of these five reasons resonate most for you.
Excuse One: The time factor
I don't have the time.
When am I going to find the time to do coaching?
This is going to be one more ball I have to juggle.
Excuse Two: The money factor
I don't have the money to invest in myself right now.
I can’t afford that!
Excuse Three: The unsupportive partner factor
My spouse or my partner won't support me.
We make financial decisions together, and I don't think that's something he/she will buy into.
Excuse Four: The self-doubt factor
I'm skeptical about this.
What if I try it and it doesn't work?
Excuse Five: The [hidden] shame factor
What if I try it, and I see that I don't get what I want, and I conclude that I'm broken? Because obviously, I hired a coach who should help me with this goal. So, if I don't accomplish it, that must mean that there's something wrong with me.
These are some of the most predominant “reasons” why professionals don’t engage in coaching.
Consider if any of the above reasons are true for you. Not as a coach but as a recipient and participant in dozens of coaching programs in multiple areas of my life, professionally and personally, I would love to share these insights with you.
If you do not have the time to prioritize yourself and your development, who's is qualified to make that determination for you or carve out the time to make “you” a top priority in your schedule and life?
Realistically, you may have activities and tasks on your plate taking up valuable resources, especially time. Unless you have the clarity to know which of those time-suckers should be deprioritized to prioritize what will make the most significant difference in your life, that's a hint that you would benefit from working with a coach.
Similarly, can you recall a time when you found the money to spend on something that was meaningful to you? How many sets of handbags, shoes, and electronic equipment do we need? It’s not that we need them it’s that we want them! We figured out how to buy them.
However, you may find that when it refers to your development, you may not be inclined to commit the financial resources. That’s a question of “worth.” What do you believe you are worth? From my perspective, I owe it to myself to give myself the chance to do and accomplish what I believe I can. I believe I am worth it.
Regarding the reason that “my partner or spouse won’t support me,” this excuse also speaks volume to how you may be taking a stand for your development and what matters to you right now. Have you noticed how your partner reacts when he or she hears conviction and certainty in your voice?
When our partners have our best interest at heart, they look to protect us. If you share your plans with a “wishy-washy” delivery, or if you ask, “what do you think about this coaching program?” when they haven’t been involved in any conversation from which they can make a sound decision, they’ll perceive your comments as signs that you’re not convinced yourself—they will probably err on the side of caution and indicate it’s not a good idea.
It’s on us to own it and take a stand for our development, articulate what we perceive to be the benefits of a coaching program while informing them that this is a good decision for your career. When you partner hears that level of certainty in your voice, and you share the facts and your commitment to make this work, he or she is more likely to get onboard.
What about the self-doubt and shame factors? At some point, we have to say, "You know what? I need to invest in myself. I am going to hire a coach because I deserve it. My career and happiness matters."
Personally, I believe that if I sign up with one of my coaches, and I am showing up and doing the work, I will accomplish as much as I put into it at the end of the coaching program. Under most circumstances, the self-doubt and shame kicks in when you question your commitment to yourself—especially if you have a track record of dropping things you start.
I can share that from working with my clients, once we start the coaching relationship and get clear on what you're looking to accomplish, I will be there to hold you accountable and uncover your blind spots—those areas you haven’t identified that are holding you back. I'm going to be that mirror for you. And as an expert with over 20 years in a leadership role, I'll also help you navigate the challenges you're currently facing in your business and your organization.
Always, as a responsible coach, I'm going to deal with the problems, limiting beliefs, and challenges head-on, instead of encouraging you to run to another organization or another role--because if you don't learn how to manage the problems you’re facing now, all we'll be doing is changing geography. You may encounter the same or similar challenges in the next role or organization, and you will not have the tools to deal with them there either.
My goal is to help you increase your emotional intelligence—self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management—so that you can show up empowered with the tools and strategies to move your career and yourself forward.
I believe that we all have potential. It's up to us to live up to that potential and to remove the obstacles that may be getting in the way of you living your most fulfilling career and life.
As a leadership coach and career strategist, I take homage in strategizing with my clients on moving the needle in their lives by creating a safe space and enabling them to express what they want, need, and desire. Great coaches can intuitively guide that conversation because they listen on multiple levels and help their clients go deeper and deeper.
As you are looking to engage with a career coach, seriously consider having an initial “chemistry” or “introductory” call with a potential coach. Make sure that there's chemistry between you and, most importantly, that you get the sense that the coach will be the right person to guide you through the dilemma you have and that that person has your best interest in mind, not from a place of ego, but a place of contribution. You know best who that person is for you.
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About Dr. Ginny A. Baro
Dr. Ginny A. Baro is a sought-after international motivational speaker & leadership coach, a career strategist, and #1 bestselling author of Fearless Women at Work.
Ginny specializes in partnering with organization to develop leadership teams at all levels of management. And she supports individuals navigating a corporate hierarchy or moving into an entirely new phase of their career. She has successfully facilitated live and virtual leadership training and coaching programs for individuals and Fortune 500 companies with over 140,000 employees and delivered keynotes impacting international audiences larger than 7,000. To learn more, visit ExecutiveBound.
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